A First for Firsts

With most of my friends, I would be very hard pressed to tell you my first impression of them or what our first conversation together entailed. Many of them I've been friends with so long it's just become too distant to remember, others more recently I may have come to know gradually without consciously and formally being introduced to them, or most commonly my first meeting with a person is just some formality in passing, no discussion with much real content to it. With Mrinal though, an interesting set of circumstances was in place that allowed for a by-pass of such conventions.


Mrinal isn't one of my closer friends; I've just seen him for the first time this school year two days ago in fact (I wrote that in November and have had this draft sitting around since then). But I've always gotten along with him very famously, and I've held respect and intrigue for him since the first time we met. The night was a Sunday about three weeks into my freshman year of college and, still coddling myself on highschool contacts, I went down to the floor below mine to ask a fellow high school alum for help with a math problem. I found him in the lounge sitting at a table with two other people. They took up three sides of the square and I, feeling comfortable enough with a chum there, wordlessly took the fourth. I asked Aaron if he could help me and he motioned across the table, saying that Mrinal, the other accent free Indian guy there, was two years more advanced in math than he was and that I should ask him. Mrinal didn't seem to notice the surplus attention granted him though as he was deep in conversation with the table's fourth resident, a large-headed girl named Rachel. I wouldn't even attempt my math problem for the next hour.

Rachel was drawing a picture for him that I remember seeing hanging in his room among a wall chalk full of other posters and banners for the rest of the year. It was a cartoonish version of herself wearing safety goggles and pouring chemicals into testtubes with some colorful large notation on it. I remember being impressed and being fairly surprised when her major was nothing related to the arts or social sciences even. Slowly I gathered that the two of them had been in the same group during New Student Weekend and seemed to have really struck it off. I was introduced to each of them through Aaron at somepoint and their conversation moved on. Rachel began inquiring about Mrinal's Indian background and together with Aaron there the topic really took off. I'd never heard two fully Americanized Indians discuss the state of their homeland before and its passion and authenticity gripped my attention. Mrinal talked over and over about the awful conditions facing the country today. He had grown up in India and thus had truly experienced what life is like there. What I remember most is his unshakable, yet obviously remorseful, pessimism. Over and over he would say, "It's just so sad but there's really nothing that can be done about it, there's nothing that can change it and it will probably never get much better." Rachel was reluctant to hear such a brutally honest appraisal and continually questioned it, saying that there must be a way, there just had to; her seemingly naive efforts at optimism were tragic. I myself was a little disturbed as well; I had never heard such a fully condemning take on the country and would have tried to disbelieve it, but who would know better than him? He was a very intelligent, but more importantly, honest guy and I could tell that from that first night; he wasn't trying to embellish anything but he wouldn't sugar coat it either. Aaron chimed in every now and again, mostly agreeing with Mrinal though with a little less vigor. Mrinal spoke of how labor was so cheap that nearly everyone wealthy enough to own a home would also have several servants in their employ and of how the beggars in the street all flock to tourists and fake sickness because they now have a better chance at staving off starvation even though they have no real long term material hope. Eventually the whole table became somber and the dialogue trailed off, no one really felt like talking about it anymore. So, realizing why I'd come down there, I timidly asked if him if he could take a look at my problem and he cheerfully did so right away; quickly helping me understand my confusion, I was impressed.

My introduction to Mrinal wasn't your usual ice-breaker talk; I was able to cut to the chase and see right away what this guy was really like. I came away thinking I could clearly pin him as someone honest, caring, and principled. He earned my instant respect and my first stab at his true character remains the same impression I have of him today. It was a rare chance to see straight to someone's core without having to sift through all the small talk and facades and I was fortunate that my chance came with someone who whose nature impressed me deeply. It's too bad it isn't always so easy to tell what someone is really like, whether they're the kind of person you would want to know better, so swiftly; it could really save a lot of effort, and a lot of disappointment too.