Cinemania!
I started this post over a year ago now. I'd been planning on finishing it once our much hyped movie The Beatniks finally came into fruition, holding out hope that that was going to happen. In light of recent group reflection, and to my enormous chagrin, it doesn't appear that it will happen anytime soon -if ever. So, as much as this will be a look back upon the wealth of stories we collected while making the movie, this will include a little editorializing on my part as well.
Basically, it upsets me that something I've spent waking weeks of my life working on and would spend near as much time if it was under my power to finish, won't be completed. There's been dozens of other projects I've worked on that have ended in a similar manner, each one leaving a small sinking feeling that it feels like I won't get back. None were as monumental in scope though as this. While I will still have the memories, every time I look back, the main thing I'll feel is a sense of great disappointment, of missed opportunity. I understand there have been vast technological issues keeping the movie from being edited, but honestly regardless of how crude it was, any cut and ordered version of the scenes would make me a happy camper at this point. I want to see something solid and concrete for my troubles, which even the roughest of cuts could provide; the takes we have would still give some semblance of our original planned narrative that could never be totally quashed for me. This is why I can't understand why simply the quality of the shots we have should have anything to do with whether or not we should finish it, and though there certainly were some awful parts, it's undeniable other showed some potential and turned out looking pretty cool. I want something to show my grandma who asks every month how the video's coming. I want something I can pop in that ancient DVD player when I'm old to smile and reminisce at. Memories, sadly, decay more quickly and become more unreliable than digital technology. In the end, we were kids for goodness sake, it's not like people are going to be feature film critiquing the production, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, regardless of one's major (if that's really the problem in one case like I perceive it to be). Anyway, in the mean time it provides some consolation to think about some of the great times we had while making it.
As with pretty much every movie we've made, the production process started in my basement. We'd lounge around and throw out ideas while one person typed, sometimes getting angry, always getting distracted by some flash on newgrounds or video on ebaumsworld. Though not for this movie specifically, we'd also bide the time by making impromptu games such as "Hot potato with a football while saying words from a particular category"-of which the most memorable answer remains Kevin's "Free-cocka!" during the Asian round, or "Call Jobe and put him on hold." Ping-pong was another biggie at this point. During our open hours from school we'd even come over and created a spreadsheet on my computer that calculated standings and personal win loss records. Yelling out "National Treasure" whenever the score was 9-11 became a steadfast tradition <Edit: See comments for explanation by Haynes>. While moving the adjacent foos-ball table one day we even managed to break off one of the legs, the night after we'd put the microwave on the fritz and made the whole house smell like smoke from an over done popcorn bag.
Once we finally took to the streets to film, the adventures didn't cease. One favorite anecdote of mine took place not during this particular movie, but a German one we made the year before. We were trying to film in the middle of the road but due to an unseemly and illogical amount of continuous traffic, were unable to for about 15 minutes. So, every time a car went by, we would create a tableau, freezing into a scene displaying varying levels of awkwardness and cars would slow down to see what in the blazes was going on. During one such scene, one of us pretended to hold a gun to the other's head (it was only a finger, don't worry!) and when the car slowed, they trained their finger/gun towards the driver, following her as she turned a corner, staring with wide eyes the whole way. Luckily this ended up being the last car and we shot the five second scene thereafter. Ten minutes later, as we pulled into the same street to go to a different location, a cop car drove past us in the opposite lane, going into the suburban cul-de-sac. This story leads directly into one from The Beatniks in which we were filming a scene involving a hand gun, where we used a toy gun with the orange tip colored black. We filmed it downtown in an alley way in the middle of the night during which several cops passed by at various points of the shooting. We went unnoticed, but this story bears special significance in light of an article that appeared in the local newspaper two weeks later. The story chronicled how several teenage boys had been trying to film a remake of Arnold's True Lies and were running across a bridge with a fake hand gun. These rabble-rousers were arrested and fined several thousand dollars and slapped with misdemeanors for impersonating a fire-arm and disturbing the peace because someone driving by thought the gun-wielding chase scene was real. Close Call indeed.
Speaking of incidents where someone thought our film was real life, we had one unfortunate run in with a cab driver. Just outside the alley, on a main street, we filmed a shot where we pretend Dima gets hit by a car. So, we had Dima lie down in the street just infront of our stalled mini-van. The camera was set up on a tripod on the other side of the thru-way and the rest of us run up to Dima in apparent concern as he squirms on the pavement. Understandably, it might have looked a little convincing, and thus, during the scene, a taxi pulled up next to Dima, rolled down his window and with wide eyes began yelling, "IS he okay? Omigosh, is he okay?!" Quickly we broke character and tried to tell him it was just a movie and he slowly stopped yelling and pulled away without a word, looking back with a confused demeanor as he crept down the street.
During this same fateful night in the alley, we did encounter a few other non-police officers as well. In the midst of trying to film one shot, a guy on a bike rode directly past us and in front of the camera, closely followed by Owen imitating bike noises and pretending to peddle his own bike. Not long later, in an adjacent lot, a shady looking car pulled up and turned off its lights. No one got out. Five minutes later another shady car pulled just along side. Windows rolled down. Things were exchanged. The cars drove away. Make your own inference.
In terms of uneasy experiences with filming with the public, there's nothing quite like trying to film a comedy in a graveyard. We tried to be respectful as we filmed, not disrupting mourners and things like that, and thankfully the scene we were shooting was fairly somber itself. Still however, it makes for one tense working environment, and Dima's penchant for stepping on graves ("They're dead, the won't mind") was a little unnerving to me. Another notable event of the day occured when we opened the trunk of Dima's car only to find it inexplicably filled with many gallons of sloshing water. Dima was also able to lighten the mood considerably when driving to the set in his own car, he bid us roll down the window of ours as he pulled up next to us and suddenly began leaning out the passenger side window brandishing a knife and gleaming with a maniacal look in his eye. We almost crashed due to some combination of laughter and distraction.
It must be said that the heart of our filming took place soon after the ascent of foursquare among our hallowed ranks. Many hours were spent playing and developing the game in my driveway (this was before we ever moved into the dungeon) as we passed time in between scenes or waited for members of our little troupe to arrive. Oftentimes we'd continue playing long after everyone had come, clearing leaves off the court on an autumn evening; those were some good times. What was the point of filming after all if we couldn't enjoy ourselves while we were doing it?
Our next most eventful filming day took place at a busstop just at the intersection of a fairly busy road and the entrance to a housing development. One shot involved all of us trying to close the four doors of Kevin's car simultaneously for a cool effect. When trying to explain how to make it look right it was described as a "boom with the bodies," meaning each of our bodies would respectively exit the car as we slammed the doors. Kevin and I began playing with this odd sounding phrase until we had ourselves the beginnings to a rap song: Boom with the bodies, boom with the bodies, boom with the bodies, Ring it up Ho! Catchy lyrics? Check. Melodic Hook? Check. Instant fame, fortune, and interviews with angel-eyed Carson Daly? Triple Check. Later on that day, our penchant for attracting attention of passersby continued; two friends of ours even pulled over chuckling as they saw us in our ridiculously elaborate get-ups. The worst was yet to come though. Apparently on their way home from junior's baseball game, a 40-something dad with a million dollar grin and his little-league jersey bearing 8 year old son pulled over next to us in dad's convertible-hood down.
"So boys, what you up to?"
"Oh, just a little project"
[Slicks back gelled hair, straightens polo collar]
"What're you filming?"
"A movie, a project, like for school"
"Well, I've got a '68 Camaro right here"
"Uh-huh"
"Like I said, I've got a '68 Camaro so if you boys would like to put it in your video, I'd be glad to help"
"Uh, we're good"
"You sure? Cause I've got a '68 Camaro?"
"Yeah, thanks anyway"
"Alright, your loss boys!"
[Drives off towards his home complete with probably not yet divorced trophy wife and garage full of vanity plates and protein shakes]
During our years of filming, Owen's taken to goofing around in front of the camera whenever a take has been lost due to some screw up or another, one notable example being during a scene in a German movie where after ten or so takes of him messing up his line, he finally nailed it then subsequently flicked off the camera believing he'd gone awry once more. In times such as this, the rest of us all groan in unison, but generally, his antics provide a welcome break from the inordinate amount of tension and anxiety we'd build up while shooting. One of my favorites came during one scene from The Beatniks being shot in Kevin's parents' office store where frustration had been building for over an hour. Someone messed up some take yet again, and without missing a beat Owen stood up and began dancing the Charleston and doing Kanye proud as he belted, "I ain't saying she a gold digga, but she ain't messin' wit no broke-b-broke ni----!"
As I've implied, during this movie we began to take ourselves way too seriously. This trend climaxed at a point where it took us, under Owen's direction, two and a half hours to shoot perhaps 30 seconds of footage. One continuous three minute shot details Trent and I thrusting our hands toward the camera again and again as Owen can be heard shouting directions, "Don't show me your palm! Bend your elbow, lean forward!" And that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm sorry to all the dozens of people we hassled and annoyed and asked something of to further the production of this movie, I hope you don't hold it against us and that someday perhaps, we will have something to show you for it.
Basically, it upsets me that something I've spent waking weeks of my life working on and would spend near as much time if it was under my power to finish, won't be completed. There's been dozens of other projects I've worked on that have ended in a similar manner, each one leaving a small sinking feeling that it feels like I won't get back. None were as monumental in scope though as this. While I will still have the memories, every time I look back, the main thing I'll feel is a sense of great disappointment, of missed opportunity. I understand there have been vast technological issues keeping the movie from being edited, but honestly regardless of how crude it was, any cut and ordered version of the scenes would make me a happy camper at this point. I want to see something solid and concrete for my troubles, which even the roughest of cuts could provide; the takes we have would still give some semblance of our original planned narrative that could never be totally quashed for me. This is why I can't understand why simply the quality of the shots we have should have anything to do with whether or not we should finish it, and though there certainly were some awful parts, it's undeniable other showed some potential and turned out looking pretty cool. I want something to show my grandma who asks every month how the video's coming. I want something I can pop in that ancient DVD player when I'm old to smile and reminisce at. Memories, sadly, decay more quickly and become more unreliable than digital technology. In the end, we were kids for goodness sake, it's not like people are going to be feature film critiquing the production, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, regardless of one's major (if that's really the problem in one case like I perceive it to be). Anyway, in the mean time it provides some consolation to think about some of the great times we had while making it.
As with pretty much every movie we've made, the production process started in my basement. We'd lounge around and throw out ideas while one person typed, sometimes getting angry, always getting distracted by some flash on newgrounds or video on ebaumsworld. Though not for this movie specifically, we'd also bide the time by making impromptu games such as "Hot potato with a football while saying words from a particular category"-of which the most memorable answer remains Kevin's "Free-cocka!" during the Asian round, or "Call Jobe and put him on hold." Ping-pong was another biggie at this point. During our open hours from school we'd even come over and created a spreadsheet on my computer that calculated standings and personal win loss records. Yelling out "National Treasure" whenever the score was 9-11 became a steadfast tradition <Edit: See comments for explanation by Haynes>. While moving the adjacent foos-ball table one day we even managed to break off one of the legs, the night after we'd put the microwave on the fritz and made the whole house smell like smoke from an over done popcorn bag.
Once we finally took to the streets to film, the adventures didn't cease. One favorite anecdote of mine took place not during this particular movie, but a German one we made the year before. We were trying to film in the middle of the road but due to an unseemly and illogical amount of continuous traffic, were unable to for about 15 minutes. So, every time a car went by, we would create a tableau, freezing into a scene displaying varying levels of awkwardness and cars would slow down to see what in the blazes was going on. During one such scene, one of us pretended to hold a gun to the other's head (it was only a finger, don't worry!) and when the car slowed, they trained their finger/gun towards the driver, following her as she turned a corner, staring with wide eyes the whole way. Luckily this ended up being the last car and we shot the five second scene thereafter. Ten minutes later, as we pulled into the same street to go to a different location, a cop car drove past us in the opposite lane, going into the suburban cul-de-sac. This story leads directly into one from The Beatniks in which we were filming a scene involving a hand gun, where we used a toy gun with the orange tip colored black. We filmed it downtown in an alley way in the middle of the night during which several cops passed by at various points of the shooting. We went unnoticed, but this story bears special significance in light of an article that appeared in the local newspaper two weeks later. The story chronicled how several teenage boys had been trying to film a remake of Arnold's True Lies and were running across a bridge with a fake hand gun. These rabble-rousers were arrested and fined several thousand dollars and slapped with misdemeanors for impersonating a fire-arm and disturbing the peace because someone driving by thought the gun-wielding chase scene was real. Close Call indeed.
Speaking of incidents where someone thought our film was real life, we had one unfortunate run in with a cab driver. Just outside the alley, on a main street, we filmed a shot where we pretend Dima gets hit by a car. So, we had Dima lie down in the street just infront of our stalled mini-van. The camera was set up on a tripod on the other side of the thru-way and the rest of us run up to Dima in apparent concern as he squirms on the pavement. Understandably, it might have looked a little convincing, and thus, during the scene, a taxi pulled up next to Dima, rolled down his window and with wide eyes began yelling, "IS he okay? Omigosh, is he okay?!" Quickly we broke character and tried to tell him it was just a movie and he slowly stopped yelling and pulled away without a word, looking back with a confused demeanor as he crept down the street.
During this same fateful night in the alley, we did encounter a few other non-police officers as well. In the midst of trying to film one shot, a guy on a bike rode directly past us and in front of the camera, closely followed by Owen imitating bike noises and pretending to peddle his own bike. Not long later, in an adjacent lot, a shady looking car pulled up and turned off its lights. No one got out. Five minutes later another shady car pulled just along side. Windows rolled down. Things were exchanged. The cars drove away. Make your own inference.
In terms of uneasy experiences with filming with the public, there's nothing quite like trying to film a comedy in a graveyard. We tried to be respectful as we filmed, not disrupting mourners and things like that, and thankfully the scene we were shooting was fairly somber itself. Still however, it makes for one tense working environment, and Dima's penchant for stepping on graves ("They're dead, the won't mind") was a little unnerving to me. Another notable event of the day occured when we opened the trunk of Dima's car only to find it inexplicably filled with many gallons of sloshing water. Dima was also able to lighten the mood considerably when driving to the set in his own car, he bid us roll down the window of ours as he pulled up next to us and suddenly began leaning out the passenger side window brandishing a knife and gleaming with a maniacal look in his eye. We almost crashed due to some combination of laughter and distraction.
It must be said that the heart of our filming took place soon after the ascent of foursquare among our hallowed ranks. Many hours were spent playing and developing the game in my driveway (this was before we ever moved into the dungeon) as we passed time in between scenes or waited for members of our little troupe to arrive. Oftentimes we'd continue playing long after everyone had come, clearing leaves off the court on an autumn evening; those were some good times. What was the point of filming after all if we couldn't enjoy ourselves while we were doing it?
Our next most eventful filming day took place at a busstop just at the intersection of a fairly busy road and the entrance to a housing development. One shot involved all of us trying to close the four doors of Kevin's car simultaneously for a cool effect. When trying to explain how to make it look right it was described as a "boom with the bodies," meaning each of our bodies would respectively exit the car as we slammed the doors. Kevin and I began playing with this odd sounding phrase until we had ourselves the beginnings to a rap song: Boom with the bodies, boom with the bodies, boom with the bodies, Ring it up Ho! Catchy lyrics? Check. Melodic Hook? Check. Instant fame, fortune, and interviews with angel-eyed Carson Daly? Triple Check. Later on that day, our penchant for attracting attention of passersby continued; two friends of ours even pulled over chuckling as they saw us in our ridiculously elaborate get-ups. The worst was yet to come though. Apparently on their way home from junior's baseball game, a 40-something dad with a million dollar grin and his little-league jersey bearing 8 year old son pulled over next to us in dad's convertible-hood down.
"So boys, what you up to?"
"Oh, just a little project"
[Slicks back gelled hair, straightens polo collar]
"What're you filming?"
"A movie, a project, like for school"
"Well, I've got a '68 Camaro right here"
"Uh-huh"
"Like I said, I've got a '68 Camaro so if you boys would like to put it in your video, I'd be glad to help"
"Uh, we're good"
"You sure? Cause I've got a '68 Camaro?"
"Yeah, thanks anyway"
"Alright, your loss boys!"
[Drives off towards his home complete with probably not yet divorced trophy wife and garage full of vanity plates and protein shakes]
During our years of filming, Owen's taken to goofing around in front of the camera whenever a take has been lost due to some screw up or another, one notable example being during a scene in a German movie where after ten or so takes of him messing up his line, he finally nailed it then subsequently flicked off the camera believing he'd gone awry once more. In times such as this, the rest of us all groan in unison, but generally, his antics provide a welcome break from the inordinate amount of tension and anxiety we'd build up while shooting. One of my favorites came during one scene from The Beatniks being shot in Kevin's parents' office store where frustration had been building for over an hour. Someone messed up some take yet again, and without missing a beat Owen stood up and began dancing the Charleston and doing Kanye proud as he belted, "I ain't saying she a gold digga, but she ain't messin' wit no broke-b-broke ni----!"
As I've implied, during this movie we began to take ourselves way too seriously. This trend climaxed at a point where it took us, under Owen's direction, two and a half hours to shoot perhaps 30 seconds of footage. One continuous three minute shot details Trent and I thrusting our hands toward the camera again and again as Owen can be heard shouting directions, "Don't show me your palm! Bend your elbow, lean forward!" And that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm sorry to all the dozens of people we hassled and annoyed and asked something of to further the production of this movie, I hope you don't hold it against us and that someday perhaps, we will have something to show you for it.
posted by DJDangerRanger @ 11:56 AM
7 Comments:
"I understand there have been vast technological issues keeping the movie from being edited"
-For the record, the technological issues only kept it from being edited. The night that we viewed the footage, the thing that changed our minds wasn't the quality of the shots, but rather the (piss poor) quality of the acting and the writing.
"but honestly regardless of how crude it was, any cut and ordered version of the scenes would make me a happy camper at this point."
-I feel the same way, it's just... because of the night of disappointment, it fell down my list of priorities substantially.
"In the end, we were kids for goodness sake, it's not like people are going to be feature film critiquing the production, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, regardless of one's major"
-Dude, we hyped it up so damn much. We thought it was going to be so friggin' good. To me I'm embarrassed that we wasted so many different people's time and we have nothing to show for it. Personally, I'm not trying to... save face as a "filmmaker". My embarrassment has nothing to do with who I am now. We just hyped it up a lot... and wasted a lot of people's time. To me, that's embarrassing. And while I know "giving them something is better than nothing at all" *might* be the case... part of me says I'd rather they just forget it...
"it provides some consolation to think about some of the great times we had while making it."
-Really? Great times? I remember stressful times... where we were taking ourselves *way* to seriously. Or... *I* took ourselves too seriously, at least. Just something else to be embarrassed about.
"Call Jobe and put him on hold."
-Hahahaha. I miss that...
"Yelling out "National Treasure" whenever the score was 9-11 became a steadfast tradition."
-For those of you agawk at our tastelessness, "National Disaster" was the original exclamation. However, National Treasure was such a hit and we, being a victim of both our times the Nicolas Cage's charm... well, you see... you see what happened...
"there's nothing quite like trying to film a comedy in a graveyard."
-Haha. Try getting laid in a graveyard...
"And that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm sorry to all the dozens of people we hassled and annoyed and asked something of to further the production of this movie, I hope you don't hold it against us and that someday perhaps, we will have something to show you for it."
-Yessiree...
For the record, when i said "regardless of one's major" I wasn't talking about you, Mr. Haynes.
Well, still.
Yeah, well, still.
So...I'm gonna get a copy of "The Toaster" soon, then? Right? Isn't that what this post is about?
What do I know, I'm just a woman.
Haha, oh goodness, I'd totally forgotten about that! The plan was and always had been to put the Beatniks on a DVD with three of our other movies, one of which was the Toaster. We were always waiting for this to get finished and thus kept putting of the creation of more copies of the toaster! So, yes Tracey, it is in fact about that!
Good. I need me some Toaster.
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