And the Oscar for Best Original Speech goes to...
takes deep breath, looks up, eyes well up a bit
Thank you. Thank you all. I... am not sure where to begin.
exhales, pausing for a moment to collect
There are only a handful of times I can recall experiencing tears of joy.
watching my favorite team clinch a spot in the Super Bowl,
whimpering like an infant at the end of Toy Story 3,
my wedding day,
and right now.
hint of a smile, then turning more earnest
I know I don't have much time, and there are so many people I need to thank, but first, I'd like to do something else, because I'll likely never have a stage like this again.
To everyone I've ever wronged - in any way
I'm sorry.
If you're sitting there thinking, "he couldn't possibly mean me, that jerk-off probably doesn't even remember what he did to me," well, I do.
chokes up a bit
I have been selfish, cowardly, malicious, unreliable, lazy, insensitive, and hurt many of you in so-doing, including and especially many of you closest to me, and I want you to know-
I'm sorry.
I feel terribly, and I'm even more sorry that I don't have the nerve to apologize personally; I only hope that humbling myself here can help make up for my behavior in some minute way.
That said. Thank you Academy, and thank you everyone who has helped me along the way in my career. Thank you American Studies Class of 2003-2004, and especially the Boys Behind the Stairs - there is no doubt I wouldn't be here without you and your creativity. Thank you to all my friends and family, you have provided me with so much joy - and so much material. Thank you to the good people of Minnesota. Thank you cast and crew, you were all wonderful to work with, and thank you to the studio for the opportunity to bring this script to life.
Be kind. Be kind.
Exit stage left, as the pit strikes up "Rhapsody in Blue"
posted by DJDangerRanger @ 2:20 AM
4 Comments:
If I ever even tangentially get mentioned in an Oscar speech, I'll probably pee myself. So now go make this happen.
Apprentice, there aren't too many favors I would like to fulfill more.
Wait... did I just read your suicide note?
haha, thankfully nothing of the sort, though the similarities did actually cross my mind whilst writing it. But no, I was just feeling kind of sad and nostalgic about things I've done and regretted, and about a lot of things I've let go unsaid, and it occurred to me that's about the only stage where anyone would be able to sort of get that message across to a bunch of different people at once in a dramatic way, and if there's one thing I'd want to say during that minute of lime light, I think that'd be it, I'd like to utilize use the opportunity.
I'm risking spiraling into a ramble, but as horrible as it sounds it did sort of occur to me like, "man, the upside to suffering some sort of crazy injury or illness would be that it would give you a seemingly valid excuse to make those sort of sentimental statements to friends in light of your new appreciation for life." Cause yeah, if you do it out of the blue, it sounds like a suicide note or something, like you're trying to create closure. People would get weirded out and ask you if you were okay, and have a hard to appreciating the message over their concern for you.
That said, I absolutely don't want to suffer such an injury or ailment just to get the opportunity to share my feelings in a more socially acceptable manner, or for any reason for that matter. So, I guess I'll just have to try and win an Oscar.
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