Waxing Decennial

Hello old friend.

On the cusp of a new decade's dawn, I couldn't help but reach back once more and jot down a few thoughts, though I've so neglected you it's entirely possible I may be whistling in the wind. No matter, for this blog has always been more for my own edification and growth than anyone else's.

Without further delay,

• It seems impossible I'm sitting where I am right now. How did this happen? I know, of course, I remember it vividly when I permit myself the indulgence of retrospect. But the trail is so equally filled with regret and joy I sometimes can't bear it. I can only handle the present.

• So much has happened. So much has happened since we last spoke. So much lost, so much gained, so much changed. And yet, so much the same.

• So little went according to plan it's almost unbelievable, but nonetheless things are pretty amazing right now and on the cusp of being more-so.

• Grandma, I miss you so so much. I understand now. I'm so unquenchingly grateful we had as much time as we did, I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance for one last talk. I should have listened.

• Uncle Jim, I miss your laugh. Eunice, I'm sorry I didn't do a better job.

• Sprinkles, you'll carry of piece of my heart forever. 

• To those I hurt, made uncomfortable, or disappointed. I'm sorry. I will try and be better.

• To those who hurt me. Why? I still don't understand.

• To the decade anew, sometimes I wish I could fast-forward, but based on where I am now mostly I can't wait to see what you have to share.